And then...

It took a while for the fact to sink in. All thoughts of poverty alleviation and millions of dollars were relegated to the cobwebs of my brain. Instead thoughts of immense love for MY CHILD filled my mind. Will I be able to hold the child? Will I be able to tell stories at (yawn) bedtime to the little one? Will I be able to (yaaawwwwn).... sleepy. Mate, how can people wake up at 3 AM? Yawn....

But my wife had other plans. In a recent study jointly conducted by Gartner-New York Times, 73.856% of all 1st time mothers that were surveyed opted for a home re-confirmation test after they found they were pregnant. Not to be left in the 26.244% of the population, she wanted to re-confirm her test results. But, being someone with a strong dislike towards hoarding and being muggles incapable of summoning things with the 'Accio' charm... we did not have another of 'those' tests in our house.

Well, as many of you, logical thinkers would understand and empathize, the right way to do things would have been to listen to the cozy bed's calling for that moment... and to go to the supermarket later, after sunrise. Thanks sir, yes sir, that's you in the white shirt and you, madam, right before the monitor. Thanks for your nod and implicit support for my argument. But alas, the missus has other ideas. She wanted me to go to the 24hrs supermarket a few miles away and get the home test kit THEN. And yes, it was 3:10 AM on a cold winter night/morning.

As most of you husbands would know, the wife is always right, isn’t she? So what do we mere mortals, the husbands married into slavery, do? Yes, do what the missus commands us to do. Once my brain processed this fact and delivered the necessary instructions to my arms and legs, the autopilot kicked in. I got dressed, put my shoes on, wrapped myself in 3 layers of protective clothing and drove to the supermarket.

For those of you bungee jumping fans and skydiving addicts, I suggest the following thrill. Walk into a 24 hr supermarket/pharmacy at 3:20 AM in the morning and buy 2 home pregnancy kits. The funny look that the female cashier throws at you is priceless- You can realize that she is dying to ask you who those tests are for (your wife or girlfriend), whether it was planned or unplanned, if unplanned - what your next plan of action would be, if planned - whether you want it to be a girl or a boy, what you want to name them, how do deal with kids when they bawl in public - and other such unasked-for-advice. However, living in an 'asking-strangers-personal-questions-is-wrong' kind of society, she would just smile sweetly at you and say "14 dollars, seventy-six cents. Credit or Debit?”

Now, let me clarify this. What I suggested you adventure-freaks is that the look on the face of middle-aged female cashier would be priceless. However, do not, I repeat, do not go beyond saying "Credit. Thanks and Good night" to the middle-aged cashier. Try saying "Credit. These are for my wife" at your own peril. Because, if you do, the old-and-bored cashier would misconstrue that as an invitation to get into the aforesaid conversation which would not end before her shift is over.

Before I digress into writing about the pros and cons of talking to middle-aged female cashiers after midnight, let us get back to the story I started narrating. By this time, I bet, even the most impassive of you males would be really thinking about the questions that the old and bored female cashier did not ask. I was anxious to know what the test kit in the plastic bag next to me would say. I was anxious to see the confirmation smile on my wife's face again.

With my thoughts swirling around like that, I parked near my apartment, half jogged half ran to my apartment, went in and handed over the kit to my wife. Seconds ticked like minutes, minutes ticked like hours.... and body inactivity was leading to brain inactivity was leading to sleep. After what seemed like hours, my wife came up to me, smiled and said, "Let’s go to the temple...” The last words I heard before I fainted were "...later this evening".

P.S: Just in case the mathematical geniuses among you are wondering... 73.856 and 26.154 do not add up to 100. This is due to a rounding off error, deliberately done to check if you were paying attention to the 'details' or not.